Saturday, July 23, 2016

.Assumptions

So a few weeks ago Brian & I took Kendrick swimming at a local pool. I was sitting in the hot tub watching them go down the waterslide and when they were done they came to see me. This man who was sitting in the hot tub next to me and I'd guess was in his 50's looked at us and said "Looks like he's ready for a little brother or sister!"

Excuse me?

I'd never met this guy before and I'd never seen him before in my life. I was not speaking to anyone while I was in the hot tub, and just sitting on my own watching my son and my husband in the water. What would possess a stranger to say that to someone? Now I'm sure he meant no harm but it was such an inappropriate question that I didn't even know how to respond except for nervous laughter and "haha, maybe one day" as we picked up and walked away. I was super uncomfortable. He didn't know our situation. What if we had been trying for a long time and couldn't get pregnant? What if we had fertility issues? What if we just didn't want another baby and thought our family was complete as three?

This being said, it doesn't really bother me when friends or family bring up a second child. I hope for it happen one day and as I discussed a few blogs ago I'm just not sure I'm 100% ready yet. That's nobody's business but I'm ok discussing it. I guess what bugged me about this situation is that this person didn't know me and asked such a personal question.  I admit that I have asked friends if they are having more children, not thinking about how I might be making them feel if they have suffered a loss or a tough time. I can tell you now that I will think twice before I ask that questions again.

Last week I came across a post by Jennifer Aniston who wrote a long letter through the Huffington Post pretty much saying how ridiculous it was that she had to explain to everyone that she was not pregnant. If you haven't read it - you can find it here, and I definitely recommend it as it's a really good read. I remember when the pictures of her first surfaced that showed her stomach a little bloated, and immediately hoping that she actually WAS pregnant after reading all of the headlines. Finding out that she's not breaks my heart a little because I can't imagine how it must feel to be out enjoying your vacation and having people take pictures of you and plaster all over the tabloids that you must be pregnant because you felt a little bloated. I admit, this is a constant worry for myself. I find that since I've gotten back (mostly) to my pre-pregnancy weight if I gain anything back it seems to be all in stomach. And then I get paranoid that people will start thinking I'm pregnant just because my shirt is a little tight, which makes me rethink what I wear almost every day. I can't imagine having cameras following me around while I'm having self confidence issues!

This line in the article really stuck out at me:

"We don't need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own 'happily ever after' for ourselves".

Amen, sister. Just my two cents.

PS: I've said it multiple times in the past couple months but starting Monday I truly AM going to try very hard to go soy free for a month. My body is feeling pretty meh and it really shouldn't be because I've been keeping up with my training for the Edmonton Half. My back pain peaked after my last 15K two weeks ago so I took a week off and it's feeling a lot better. My body though still feels off. I got tested for kidney stones and everything under the sun and thankfully those came out negative. So it's time to start eating better and doing things that are still in my control. It's going to be hard considering we are moving in less than a month but I'm going to try and prepare a ton of freezer meals so that we don't have to eat out all the time.

PPS: This blog is going to go through a major makeover in the next few months! Same great content (I hope), but different site host, name, and branding. There will be more sections including a place for all my recipes, and hopefully an easier way to find blog posts that are relevant to what you want to read. It's a work in progress and I can't wait to reveal it all, so stay tuned! :) I don't have a final date yet but will keep you posted as it's coming along.


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