.Assumptions

So a few weeks ago Brian & I took Kendrick swimming at a local pool. I was sitting in the hot tub watching them go down the waterslide and when they were done they came to see me. This man who was sitting in the hot tub next to me and I'd guess was in his 50's looked at us and said "Looks like he's ready for a little brother or sister!"

Excuse me?

I'd never met this guy before and I'd never seen him before in my life. I was not speaking to anyone while I was in the hot tub, and just sitting on my own watching my son and my husband in the water. What would possess a stranger to say that to someone? Now I'm sure he meant no harm but it was such an inappropriate question that I didn't even know how to respond except for nervous laughter and "haha, maybe one day" as we picked up and walked away. I was super uncomfortable. He didn't know our situation. What if we had been trying for a long time and couldn't get pregnant? What if we had fertility issues? What if we just didn't want another baby and thought our family was complete as three?

This being said, it doesn't really bother me when friends or family bring up a second child. I hope for it happen one day and as I discussed a few blogs ago I'm just not sure I'm 100% ready yet. That's nobody's business but I'm ok discussing it. I guess what bugged me about this situation is that this person didn't know me and asked such a personal question.  I admit that I have asked friends if they are having more children, not thinking about how I might be making them feel if they have suffered a loss or a tough time. I can tell you now that I will think twice before I ask that questions again.

Last week I came across a post by Jennifer Aniston who wrote a long letter through the Huffington Post pretty much saying how ridiculous it was that she had to explain to everyone that she was not pregnant. If you haven't read it - you can find it here, and I definitely recommend it as it's a really good read. I remember when the pictures of her first surfaced that showed her stomach a little bloated, and immediately hoping that she actually WAS pregnant after reading all of the headlines. Finding out that she's not breaks my heart a little because I can't imagine how it must feel to be out enjoying your vacation and having people take pictures of you and plaster all over the tabloids that you must be pregnant because you felt a little bloated. I admit, this is a constant worry for myself. I find that since I've gotten back (mostly) to my pre-pregnancy weight if I gain anything back it seems to be all in stomach. And then I get paranoid that people will start thinking I'm pregnant just because my shirt is a little tight, which makes me rethink what I wear almost every day. I can't imagine having cameras following me around while I'm having self confidence issues!

This line in the article really stuck out at me:

"We don't need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own 'happily ever after' for ourselves".

Amen, sister. Just my two cents.

PS: I've said it multiple times in the past couple months but starting Monday I truly AM going to try very hard to go soy free for a month. My body is feeling pretty meh and it really shouldn't be because I've been keeping up with my training for the Edmonton Half. My back pain peaked after my last 15K two weeks ago so I took a week off and it's feeling a lot better. My body though still feels off. I got tested for kidney stones and everything under the sun and thankfully those came out negative. So it's time to start eating better and doing things that are still in my control. It's going to be hard considering we are moving in less than a month but I'm going to try and prepare a ton of freezer meals so that we don't have to eat out all the time.

PPS: This blog is going to go through a major makeover in the next few months! Same great content (I hope), but different site host, name, and branding. There will be more sections including a place for all my recipes, and hopefully an easier way to find blog posts that are relevant to what you want to read. It's a work in progress and I can't wait to reveal it all, so stay tuned! :) I don't have a final date yet but will keep you posted as it's coming along.

.Delicious

I felt I needed to blog strictly because I wanted to share an amazing recipe that I tried tonight. Italian sausage stroganoff. OMG. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it was because it wouldn't do it justice. More on that later...

I had to head to physio last week because my back was bothering me. In all honesty it's been bothering me for awhile but it hasn't been bad enough for me to actually stop training - until two weeks ago. I actually had to cut a run short because I was in so much pain, which was incredibly frustrating. After going to physio it seems like I had this same muscle injury last year (which I honestly didn't remember at all - baby brain IS still kicking 16 months later), but this time he decided to treat it a little differently. He actually did some acupuncture which I admit, scared me a little. I'm not a very big fan of needles so I guess it was a good thing that I couldn't see them getting inserted in my back. Turns out the treatment worked pretty well as I felt really good for the next three days! I ran my second 15K last weekend and although my back flared up a little bit I managed to get a new personal best of 1:41:45. The best part is that I know I can do better. I wasn't feeling 100% so the fact that I got a new personal best despite that makes me feel really good. I have one more 15K training run this weekend with MEC so we'll see how it goes. I went back to physio today to get some more acupuncture done, so I'm hoping that I'm in really good shape for the weekend. 

The Edmonton Half is fast approaching and I'm still undecided on how I'm going to run the race. I'm either going to run it like normal and go for a new personal best, or I'm going to try the run/walk method and follow the 2:15 pace bunny. I just don't know what I should do! It also happens that leading up to that day we'll be moving out of our house and into a new house AND moving offices. August is going to be slightly busy! This will make lunch time runs all that more important as I feel like it's going to be hard to get up early and I'm not going to have the energy when I get home from work (not to mention that I really enjoy spending evenings with Kendrick!) Bootcamp runs out in the next two weeks so after that I'm going to try heading back to Blitz for morning HIIT training at least once a week. I'm finding that my extra strength training is helping me feel less sore after races so I definitely want to keep it up. I'm going to continue with running 2-3 times a week with a longer run on Friday or Saturday, and also continue with stairs on Wednesdays. I feel like my training is paying off because I've done a few personal bests already this year so I'm really hoping it continues!

I ordered new SHOES! I also ordered new shoes for Kendrick - but in fairness he's gotten just over seven months out of his last pair of baby Nikes so I'm pretty impressed. I had bought Kendrick baby Nikes in the next size up awhile ago but they have been packed away for a few months as we were anticipating moving sooner, so I ordered him a pair of baby Pumas and a pair of baby Asics. I may have a baby shoe problem. For myself, I decided to go with the Nike Air Zoom Pegasus. After my last 15K it was clear to me that my shoes were close to being done, so it was time to bite the bullet and try something new. I thought I noticed my shin splints creeping back up on me the last few months on occasion, so I'm hoping a change of shoe will do the trick. Nike has a great return policy where you can return them within 30 days for any reason, so if they aren't perfect I'll send them back and try a new pair. I'm hoping they will be great and they arrive soon so I have time to break them in before the big race.

I've lost a couple pounds so I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I'm still struggling a bit with work/life balance and getting organized in the few hours I have before Kendrick goes to bed, but it's going not too badly. I'm very thankful! My baby is also 16 months old in a few days. He got his first hair cut last weekend and is truly starting to really look like a little boy. It's a bittersweet time for this mama.

xo

-Dianne

PS: The more running I do the more I wish there was some sort of app that I could have on my phone to alert someone if I was ever involved in an emergency. Not to say that I'm super paranoid as I usually run in very populated areas but if something did happen and someone tried to grab me or steal from me while I was running, it would be nice to be able to press a button and alert someone of my whereabouts. Or, if I say I'm going to be an hour and it's been an hour and 10 minutes, someone would be able to check the app to find out where I am. Is there such a thing? If not, I feel like someone should invent one! It's better to be safe than sorry.

PPS: Ok, I need to share this amazing recipe I tried tonight. Bonus points that it's a one pot recipe, as that makes clean up oh-so-easy! I love beef stroganoff so when I came across this on Pinterest I knew I had to try it. The original recipe is here, however here my adapted recipe with Italian sausage:

1 teaspoon of olive oil

3 cups of fresh mushrooms, sliced

1/2 cup of sliced onion

3 cloves of garlic, minced

1 package of ground Italian sausage

1 tablespoon of smoked paprika

4 cups organic mushroom broth

2 cups of rotini pasta

3 pickles, diced

1/2 a cup of low fat sour cream

salt and pepper to taste

Heat the olive oil in a big pot on medium high heat and cook the mushrooms until soft and tender. Remove and place in a small bowl. Cook the onions and the garlic in the same pot for a few minutes until translucent and fragrant. Add the Italian sausage and cook until tender and browned, breaking up with a wooden spoon. Add the paprika and stir. Then add the mushroom broth and pasta and bring to soft boil. Continue to cook until the pasta is soft. Add in the diced pickles and stir. Remove from heat and add the mushrooms back in along with the sour cream. Serve, and enjoy! Seriously, I feel like I could eat the whole four servings it's THAT good!

.Vulnerable

If you read my last post, I'm sure you noticed that it came from the heart. On occasion, we are all guilty of portraying life as fan-freaking-tastic when it's really not. So I felt I needed to get some things off my chest and truly I did feel a lot better afterward.

Thankfully, one of the stressors has lifted itself! We got the good news that our house had sold yesterday and we are over the moon! It's still a little stressful that we have to find a new place in the next two months, but we've seen a lot of places we like so it's just a matter of making a decision. We are looking for our "almost forever" home - which means we are looking for a place to settle for the next 20ish years or so until Kendrick and one day future baby move out. Then the plan is to build our dream home. There are definitely some exciting times ahead!

Father's Day actually went a lot better this year. I'm not sure what it was, but it didn't seem like there was a black cloud hanging over the day like there was last year. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing man as my husband and the Father to Kendrick!

Photo by Breanne Marie, Edmonton

Photo by Mandi D Photography, Edmonton 

I crushed my first 15K of the season this past weekend! I'll be honest, I don't know why I signed up for a 15K when I was probably only ready for a 10. When I signed up for the race package I tried to up my mileage in the monthly races leading up to the Edmonton half. I should have done another 10K, and then completed my first 15K in July. When I realized my error it was too late to do any changes so I went for it anyways. Considering the course was pretty hilly and through some thin trains at some points, I felt not too bad for the first 12K. The last 3K however were tough and I was struggling. I was also a dummy and didn't eat beforehand, which is a no no especially for a long run like that. Usually under 10K I can get away using an empty stomach and sport beans, but 15K was too long. My longest run previous to this was 9K and although I didn't feel prepared, I actually wasn't too disappointed with my time of 1:46:09. I have another 15K on July 1 (which is actually my favourite race of the year, the Canada Day Road Race) and another on July 10 before the big half on August 21. My goal for this week is to run 9K tomorrow and 12K this weekend to hopefully get my stamina up. I also didn't feel as sore after the 15K as I thought I would, which means my cross training at Blitz Conditioning boot camp is paying off.

Speaking of boot camp, we are outside and I don't know what it is but mosquitos LOVE me. It's awful. Even after wearing bug spray my legs have at least 25 bites on them. I don't understand why they like me so much!

I'm still working on losing about 7 pounds so that my abs show up a little more. It would be really nice to do this before I get pregnant again, as I've heard it's much harder to lose the weight the second time around. I've been keeping up with bootcamp every Tuesday and stairs every Wednesday, and running 1-2 times on Monday, Thursday or Friday. I think the biggest thing for me is eating. I need to be planning better and eating better as I know I haven't been at my best lately. The food prep has been tough, I just haven't had the energy at night. I need to get better at this! My goal is to get back on the meal planning wagon this weekend. I am motivated!

I'm also craving a vacation. Particularly to Disneyworld. One can dream...

xo

-Dianne

PS: I tried out a new Epicure recipe for pancakes for Father's Day breakfast, and it went really well! I literally went on the Epicure website and searched for "pancakes" and decided to try the Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes recipe. The only difference is I added a tablespoon of cocoa to get some healthy chocolate flavour without the calories and the sugar of the chocolate chips. They tasted amazing! I think next time I may try adding some Sweet Coconut Vegan Protein Blend protein powder to the mixture too! I also used only whole wheat flower as well. 

PPS: I think I'm going to invest in a new pair of Nikes next month! I'm brand loyal and I've been using Nike Flex for the last few years and am looking to change it up. Anyone have a favourite brand of Nike runners they recommend? I'm looking at trying out the Nike Free Run Distance shoe as that was rated #1 by a poll I saw, but I am not sure if I'll need more support than that yet.

.Confident

I'm not sure what it is, but this past little while my body confidence has gone up quite a bit. I think it's a mixture of people being so kind and telling me that I look great and it doesn't look like I had a baby, and that when I look in the mirror I can see sorta my abs again.

It also seems so mind blowing that almost 15 months ago they cut me open to get my baby out...

I think back over the last 15 months and feel good about the fact that I have worked really hard to get where I'm at. Even though my eating habits aren't really where I want them to be, the amount that I'm working out and doing physical activity is definitely paying off. I know I blogged quite a few months back about feeling a little bit jealous of the ladies who were able to lose the weight really fast after birth, however I'm pleased to say that I'm not feeling that way anymore for the most part!

That being said, the question that seems to be on everyone's minds is...when is #2 coming? I have to admit I'm not there yet. Kendrick is such an awesome baby, but now that he's walking he's a lot of work! I can't imagine chasing him around and having a newborn at the same time. Just the thought of it stresses me out a bit. Some of the moms that I have talked to with two have told me that you just do it, and it's not so bad but it still makes me so nervous! The thought of moving Kendrick to a toddler bed also is nerve wracking because right now he's all over the place in his crib. I can't imagine him actually sleeping in a bed and not getting out the second we put him down. On top of all this, the fact that I'm feeling good is also a reason why I'm not quite ready. It took so long to get back to a place where I'm happy and comfortable with my body, so I'm not quite ready to gain 50+ pounds again! Is that selfish? I don't mean to be. But I know the older you get the harder it is to bounce back from pregnancy so it's constantly weighing on my mind.

I've also made the decision that I'm going to start marathon training sometime after baby #2 comes. I don't think there's a point in starting now when my half marathon time is not where I'd like it to be (I'd like to get close to a time of two hours before I start marathon training, and currently my personal best is 2:33). I've still got quite a few races left this year leading up to the big Edmonton Half Marathon in August, and I'm still debating on whether I'm going to attempt to follow the 2:15 pace bunny or not. I've got a 10K in June and 2 15K's in July to start prepping, so I'm excited! My running this week was unfortunately put on a bit of a hold because of the horrible smoke in and around the Edmonton area that blew in, so I look forward to getting back at it next week. The air quality was only a 4/10 last weekend when I ran my first 10K of the season, and I during the race I didn't think it was that bad. However afterward I could feel it in my throat as it was sore, I lost my voice and my asthma started acting up. I'm still feeling the effects a week later!

I am guilty and fell off the meal planning wagon again! I need to make an effort to take the time to plan each week otherwise dinner seems to contain more calories (fast food) or eaten too late. I did however make a killer meatloaf tonight! This recipe was adapted from a recipe I found off pinterest by Inspired Taste, however here is my adapted recipe including hidden veggies for the toddler.

2 packages of lean ground turkey

2 eggs
2 tablespoons of Epicure Paris Spice
1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 cup of breton crackers, crushed

1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce

7 tablespoons of tomato sauce + extra for the top

1 cup of applesauce

1 tablespoon honey

1/2 a cup of flaxseed

1-1 1/2 cups of finely chopped veggies (I used California mix frozen veggies which included carrots, broccoli and cauliflower, steamed them, and put them in the food processor)

1 cup shredded cheese

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Put all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Put mixture into a loaf pan, preferably one that drains the fat at the bottom (as there will be excess moisture from the cheese)  and add tomato sauce on top. Bake for about 50 minutes. The internal temperature should be around 160-170 when done. It was delicious!

Enjoy!

xo

-Dianne

PS: I ordered a ton of stuff from Epicure this week! I am so excited to get everything! I will be doing another large order in June, however in the mean time if you want to order something you can do so by clicking here. I recommend the Paris spice and the Pico salsa mix! SO GOOD!

PPS: Although I'm overall feeling good, I still want to get back to the flat stomach I used to have and seem to have hit a bit of a plateau. I'm having trouble losing that last pound or two around my stomach! I'm not sure if that's just exercises or just eating better that will drop the last couple pounds. Does anyone have any suggestions?

.Clarity

So much for wanting to blog three times a month! If there were 26-27 hours in a day, I'm pretty sure I could fill them all!

Ever wake up one day and all of a sudden see clarity? It's amazing how sometimes something unexpected can happen and completely change your perspective on a situation. I know I'm being vague, but I can truly say I woke up yesterday morning feeling refreshed not from a good night's sleep (what's a good night's sleep?), but because I realized that some things are just meant to be.

It's been three and a half weeks since I went back to work and I'm finally starting to get into a bit of a groove. When we get home Kendrick gets a light dinner, and then we play until bed time. The time between us getting home and him going to bed is only between one to two hours on average, which doesn't leave a lot of time for much else! For the first three weeks I can count on one hand how many times I was able to cook dinner, and most of those times we didn't eat until after 7:30-8PM when Kendrick was in bed. Also, forget about making lunches! There was just no time in the morning (and nothing ready in the fridge) so we were eating out at lunch a lot. The last couple days though I'm happy to report that I'm starting to get the hang of it. I've been able to make dinner and prepare lunches the night before so we can just grab them in the morning. It's healthier, it's quick, and I'm feeling really good that I'm starting to find some balance.

The last couple weeks I've also been leading up a group at work to jog and do stairs at lunch time once a week. One of my co-workers had the idea and I've gone twice now and it's been awesome! It's been a little chilly (which is odd, because before that the weather had been gorgeous for a few weeks) and I anticipate there will be more of us when it becomes nicer. I actually love lunch time work outs almost as much as I love my early mornings (and when I say I love early mornings I mean usually after the work out, not so much when I'm attempting to get out of bed). I'm loving that I can be active in the early morning and at lunch and it doesn't take away the time I spend with my little guy in the evenings. When I weighed myself this morning I was two pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, which means that I'm three pounds away from my original goal. I have to say that I feel great! All the pants I bought for work on Boxing Day are now a little too big!

While jogging up and down the stairs at lunch yesterday, I found myself thinking about my next half marathon in August. At the beginning of my running season, I always can't believe that I can actually run a half marathon because I'm pretty much starting from scratch every spring as I don't run much in the winter. I was telling my co-worker that I wanted to run a marathon one day, but not until I could run a sub two hour half marathon - which right now for me is shaving 33 minutes off my time. That's a lot! However, every year since I started running in 2009 I've been able to shed a few more minutes off of that personal best (with this year shaving 10 minutes off my personal best). My mind started wandering and I thought about following a pace bunny. For those of you who don't know what that is, people train to run a half marathon in a specific time (some using the run/walk method) and run the race carrying a big sign with the estimated finish time. People fall them to pace themselves and finish around that time. My strategy has always been to run until I'm tired, power walk a bit and drink some water, and then keep going. It's worked for me so far, but I still have a lot of time to make up to hit my goal. I've never really done the run 10 minutes walk one minute plan either, but I'm thinking I might try it with the pace bunny next race. We'll see how it goes!

As good as I'm feeling, meal planning has gone out the window this past month. As I'm starting to feel more settled with everything, I'm going to go back and try it again hopefully after Easter this weekend.

xo
-Dianne

PS: Confession: I am addicted to Justin Beiber's new song, "Love Yourself". I don't know why but I could seriously listen to the song on repeat. Side note: I don't usually listen to Beebs so this is really odd for me!

PPS: After a bit of a stressful day this week, I got home and my hubby presented me with a gift. I think every woman needs one of these because we all have these days!