Struggle

Happy New Year!

Do you remember the last time you felt completely relieved of stress? A time where there was absolutely nothing weighing you down? No matter what life threw at you, you felt fantastic and ready to tackle the world?

I do. It was in February & March of 2014. We went on our honeymoon for two weeks of wedded bliss on the beautiful island of St. Maarten. We got a free trip courtesy of Westjet when I won a raffle at a Mother's Day fundraiser for Wings of Providence which offers help & shelter to women who have suffered from family violence. I literally picked one of the farthest places that Westjet traveled at the time. We didn't really have a budget after the wedding for a honeymoon, so this was definitely an unexpected bonus trip. I hadn't really heard much about the island so going there was a surprise for both of us, and it was nothing short of amazing. Clear white sand, crystal clear blue water, two different countries on one little island, a spot to watch planes literally fly right over your head, and two weeks of pure relaxation. Although we booked some excursions, we had a lot of days where we flew by the seat of our pants and spent the day on the beach or in the pool. We didn't party like crazy and got a good night's sleep every night and besides excursion days we slept in every morning. I came back to work after two and a half weeks off feeling refreshed, clear headed and ready to tackle anything.

As you can see by that date, that was almost three years ago. This isn't to say I've been a stress case for almost three years, but I certainly haven't felt that that feeling of complete freedom and clearheadedness in a very long time.

I knew being a working Mom would be tough. But I guess I never realized how tough! I give props to all of the Moms in my life who've been doing this for years and to those I've met since I've had Kendrick! I always appreciated that it was a challenge but I definitely have a new found respect.

I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and came across an article called "This is What Every Working Mom Needs To Hear From Her Partner". I admit I was intrigued, so I clicked on it and read the article. Although I get a ton of support from my husband and didn't agree with the entire article, there were a few sentences that really stood out at me.

"I have too much on my plate and feel like a failure. Every area of my life gets 60% of my best. That's a D. I'm failing. Wouldn't you look ragged and old if you were coasting through life with a D?"

"That's all I can muster and I know it sucks, but I will gregariously tackle tomorrow and shoot for an A. Maybe I'll fall short (again), but could you please tell me I'm doing a good job?" 

- Melanie Okana, "This Is What Every Working Mom Needs To Hear From Her Partner"

Bingo.

This pretty much nailed exactly how I was feeling for especially the last few months, but I was unable to put it into words. I've known myself for almost 35 years now and have a pretty good idea of what makes me tick, how I work, and what I can handle. I suffer from major Mommy Guilt - which is essentially every time I miss out on a moment with my son or feel like I need a little time to myself, I feel guilty. I've been a multi-tasker all my life and never had an issue juggling my schedule until I had my son. Neither my husband or I work 9-5 jobs and although we like that type of atmosphere it certainly got a little more complicated to organize when Kendrick came into the world.

Don't get me wrong, having Kendrick was one of the best things that ever happened to me! And I am so, so happy that I became a Mom. But I'm starting to realize that having a family, a full time job, a part time side gig, completing my degree, running, working out, blogging and organizing multiple events can be a little much for one person. I'm a terrible delegator. I like to do everything myself because I have an expectation on how I want things done. I have a prioritizing problem. I like to make To Do lists but never know where to start! I'm one of those people who doesn't like the little number bubbles beside apps on her iPhone, so I'm sure you can imagine how I feel when I look at my iPhone looking like this:

This number was at 0 before I went on maternity leave. Because I wasn't on my computer as often once I had my little guy, I started getting behind on reading my personal inboxes. Note that 95% of these emails are likely from companies that I've signed up for their mailing lists, but this little red number bubble bugs me EVERY DAY! It's just another box on my never ending To Do list that I need to check off. Because of this, I also have problems sleeping and staying asleep at night which leads to being very tired during the day.

One of my goals for 2017 is to simplify my life. I'm still the same sparkly, bubbly, positive person I've always been, but unfortunately it's only about 60-70% of the time. I'm looking to improve that number to about 80%. I am very lucky I have a great husband, a great family, great friends and an overall great support system so I know I can get through this! I started to use some of my Moksha Yoga passes on my week off at Christmas, and felt amazing afterward! I need to get back to going in the mornings and starting the day off right. I still have some time before my girls trip to Vegas, so I want to get back on track and start eating better, doing yoga & maybe even doing some treadmill running to get back into shape and improve my well being.

Do me a favour, will you? If you see another Mom that looks flustered, whether she's with her kids her or not, tell her she's doing a good job. I am 100% sure she'll appreciate it. I know, I would! We'll never get tired of hearing it and you just never know - at that moment she may be suffering from mom guilt, been a victim of mom shaming or may be having an "I'm a terrible Mom" moment. Something small like that could make her day!

xo
-Dianne

PS: I didn't write this post to get pity and I certainly have no regrets. I thought it was good timing to be real about my feelings as it coincides with #BellLetsTalk day. Our mental health is important, and talking about it is the first step!

PPS: Winter is my favourite season. I have an amazing spot in my new office where my desk is right beside floor to ceiling windows that overlook downtown and I love all the sunshine that beams down on my desk. As much as I love the winter and the snow, my workouts also tend to slow down. I love running but I hate the treadmill and I'm too much of a wimp to run in the cold (not to mention I'm worried about injuring my klutzy self by tripping on the ice & snow). It's about this time of year that I start to get antsy and want to start running again. I came across the Jasper Canadian Rockies Half Marathon which takes place on April 8th & I think I might sign up.  This leaves me with just over two months to get training (usually I start three months prior, give or take a few days) and to be quite honest I haven't run since September. But maybe it's time to take a plunge and have something to look forward to! I plan to make the decision in the next couple weeks, so stay tuned!

.Hello

Oh hey blog, it's me Dianne. Do you remember me?

The last time there was a long pause between blog posts I announced I was pregnant...

I'm not pregnant.

I don't really have any other explanation than life happened. In the last six months I ran a half marathon, moved houses, moved offices, helped open Rogers Place, watched my baby really turn into a toddler, got two viral infections and one bad cold in a 2.5 month span and had a cough that lasted over three months, stopped working out, unpacked a lot of boxes, ramped up my Stella & Dot business, left Kendrick for the very first time for over 24 hours, planned a trip to Vegas with my girlfriends to see the Backstreet Boys in March 2017, had minor surgery, and raised money for the Mazankowski Heart Institute - in no particular order. Needless to say, it's been a little busy.

Let's rewind back to August. I didn't feel as prepared as I wanted to be for the Edmonton Half, however I was feeling pretty good. I ended up investing in some new runners a little over a month before the race (Nike Air Zoom Pegasus), and so far they have been very comfy! While I was at the start line I was still trying to decide whether I use the run/walk method or just run it out, and I ended up deciding to run it out. I was feeling ok for most of the race but started to get tired during the last 5K. At 18.5KM the 2:30 pace bunny ran by me and I decided that that I was way too close to hitting my goal to give up now...so I blew by them and almost sprinted the last 2.5KM. I ended up beating my personal best time and have a new PB of 2:28:33. 

Although I was happy, I KNOW I can do better and look forward to next year! I'm still not 100% sure when I'll be ready for baby #2, but for now I'm going to plan to run the Edmonton Half again, and possibly do some of the MEC races again although I was disappointed with their 15K's (aka they didn't have enough race marshals and I got lost on a couple of the routes) so hopefully they do get better in that department.

September and October were a bit of a blur! It was very busy at work and I admit that I let myself fall off the work out wagon. I ate out more, was lazy at night and didn't cook as often, and didn't have the energy to get up in the mornings to work out. I wanted to get back on track in November however that's when I started to get sick. It was viral infection after viral infection, and many trips to the doctor for them to tell me that there was nothing they could really do and it was very frustrating! Thankfully all that Kendrick ended up with was a runny nose for a few days. I did end up going to see my Naturopath who gave me some tips and now that I'm finished the meds for my cough I look forward to getting back on track and feeling better really soon! I also found out that I have 29 leftover passes at Moksha Yoga! 29!!!! It's been...oh I don't know...four or so years since I've been? I think I'm going to try and go this week and see if I can get it back into my routine again. 

We hosted Christmas dinner for the very first time ever at our new home! We moved at the end of August and I absolutely love it. Better neighbourhood, bigger and better house, and we couldn't be happier. We have an awesome bonus room now that is used as Kendrick's playroom and it's fantastic. Not to mention I swear our bedroom is twice the size and has an ensuite bathroom! It was so nice to be able to host Christmas dinner for our immediate families at our place, and we are pumped that the turkey and stuffing turned out and we didn't have to order pizza! :) 

Saw this quote on Facebook today and felt like it really spoke to me. 

I admit, I've been having a lot more "nothing" days lately simply because I've been so exhausted, mostly I think from being sick. Sometimes this working Mom thing is hard! But now that I'm starting to feel better and have a week off after Christmas to recharge, I'm looking forward to getting back into it and starting my New Year's resolutions early this year! My goal is to tone up and lose a bit around the belly before I head to Vegas in March, and I want to accomplish that by doing Yoga, going back to Blitz HIIT training (which I think is what helped me lose the last bit of baby weight at the beginning of 2016), doing stairs and running on some of my lunch breaks and doing some home work outs as well. I'm feeling good about 2017, are you?

It will not be six months before I write again! I promise!

xo

-Dianne

PS: After taking a bit of a break, I really ramped up my Stella & Dot business in November and it reminded me of how much fun it was (and how easy it was to make a little extra cash on the side!) If you are interested in beating the after Christmas blues and want to earn yourself some free jewelry to start the new year off right, email me at DianneCK39@gmail.com or tweet me @StyleByDianne and we'll set up a date! The new spring collection launches really soon and I'm looking for debut hostesses to show off the new line!

PPS: I went Boxing Day shopping today and it was awesome. I know some people don't understand why - but honestly, if you suck it up and go when the mall first opens first thing in the morning, it's not so bad! Maybe I saw that because all the stores I went to had no crazy lines, and I found a parking spot close to the door so I didn't have to bring in my jacket. All the clothes I bought today were 50-70% off! You can't go wrong with that! :)

.Vulnerable

If you read my last post, I'm sure you noticed that it came from the heart. On occasion, we are all guilty of portraying life as fan-freaking-tastic when it's really not. So I felt I needed to get some things off my chest and truly I did feel a lot better afterward.

Thankfully, one of the stressors has lifted itself! We got the good news that our house had sold yesterday and we are over the moon! It's still a little stressful that we have to find a new place in the next two months, but we've seen a lot of places we like so it's just a matter of making a decision. We are looking for our "almost forever" home - which means we are looking for a place to settle for the next 20ish years or so until Kendrick and one day future baby move out. Then the plan is to build our dream home. There are definitely some exciting times ahead!

Father's Day actually went a lot better this year. I'm not sure what it was, but it didn't seem like there was a black cloud hanging over the day like there was last year. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing man as my husband and the Father to Kendrick!

Photo by Breanne Marie, Edmonton

Photo by Mandi D Photography, Edmonton 

I crushed my first 15K of the season this past weekend! I'll be honest, I don't know why I signed up for a 15K when I was probably only ready for a 10. When I signed up for the race package I tried to up my mileage in the monthly races leading up to the Edmonton half. I should have done another 10K, and then completed my first 15K in July. When I realized my error it was too late to do any changes so I went for it anyways. Considering the course was pretty hilly and through some thin trains at some points, I felt not too bad for the first 12K. The last 3K however were tough and I was struggling. I was also a dummy and didn't eat beforehand, which is a no no especially for a long run like that. Usually under 10K I can get away using an empty stomach and sport beans, but 15K was too long. My longest run previous to this was 9K and although I didn't feel prepared, I actually wasn't too disappointed with my time of 1:46:09. I have another 15K on July 1 (which is actually my favourite race of the year, the Canada Day Road Race) and another on July 10 before the big half on August 21. My goal for this week is to run 9K tomorrow and 12K this weekend to hopefully get my stamina up. I also didn't feel as sore after the 15K as I thought I would, which means my cross training at Blitz Conditioning boot camp is paying off.

Speaking of boot camp, we are outside and I don't know what it is but mosquitos LOVE me. It's awful. Even after wearing bug spray my legs have at least 25 bites on them. I don't understand why they like me so much!

I'm still working on losing about 7 pounds so that my abs show up a little more. It would be really nice to do this before I get pregnant again, as I've heard it's much harder to lose the weight the second time around. I've been keeping up with bootcamp every Tuesday and stairs every Wednesday, and running 1-2 times on Monday, Thursday or Friday. I think the biggest thing for me is eating. I need to be planning better and eating better as I know I haven't been at my best lately. The food prep has been tough, I just haven't had the energy at night. I need to get better at this! My goal is to get back on the meal planning wagon this weekend. I am motivated!

I'm also craving a vacation. Particularly to Disneyworld. One can dream...

xo

-Dianne

PS: I tried out a new Epicure recipe for pancakes for Father's Day breakfast, and it went really well! I literally went on the Epicure website and searched for "pancakes" and decided to try the Whole Wheat Banana Pancakes recipe. The only difference is I added a tablespoon of cocoa to get some healthy chocolate flavour without the calories and the sugar of the chocolate chips. They tasted amazing! I think next time I may try adding some Sweet Coconut Vegan Protein Blend protein powder to the mixture too! I also used only whole wheat flower as well. 

PPS: I think I'm going to invest in a new pair of Nikes next month! I'm brand loyal and I've been using Nike Flex for the last few years and am looking to change it up. Anyone have a favourite brand of Nike runners they recommend? I'm looking at trying out the Nike Free Run Distance shoe as that was rated #1 by a poll I saw, but I am not sure if I'll need more support than that yet.

.Clarity

So much for wanting to blog three times a month! If there were 26-27 hours in a day, I'm pretty sure I could fill them all!

Ever wake up one day and all of a sudden see clarity? It's amazing how sometimes something unexpected can happen and completely change your perspective on a situation. I know I'm being vague, but I can truly say I woke up yesterday morning feeling refreshed not from a good night's sleep (what's a good night's sleep?), but because I realized that some things are just meant to be.

It's been three and a half weeks since I went back to work and I'm finally starting to get into a bit of a groove. When we get home Kendrick gets a light dinner, and then we play until bed time. The time between us getting home and him going to bed is only between one to two hours on average, which doesn't leave a lot of time for much else! For the first three weeks I can count on one hand how many times I was able to cook dinner, and most of those times we didn't eat until after 7:30-8PM when Kendrick was in bed. Also, forget about making lunches! There was just no time in the morning (and nothing ready in the fridge) so we were eating out at lunch a lot. The last couple days though I'm happy to report that I'm starting to get the hang of it. I've been able to make dinner and prepare lunches the night before so we can just grab them in the morning. It's healthier, it's quick, and I'm feeling really good that I'm starting to find some balance.

The last couple weeks I've also been leading up a group at work to jog and do stairs at lunch time once a week. One of my co-workers had the idea and I've gone twice now and it's been awesome! It's been a little chilly (which is odd, because before that the weather had been gorgeous for a few weeks) and I anticipate there will be more of us when it becomes nicer. I actually love lunch time work outs almost as much as I love my early mornings (and when I say I love early mornings I mean usually after the work out, not so much when I'm attempting to get out of bed). I'm loving that I can be active in the early morning and at lunch and it doesn't take away the time I spend with my little guy in the evenings. When I weighed myself this morning I was two pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight, which means that I'm three pounds away from my original goal. I have to say that I feel great! All the pants I bought for work on Boxing Day are now a little too big!

While jogging up and down the stairs at lunch yesterday, I found myself thinking about my next half marathon in August. At the beginning of my running season, I always can't believe that I can actually run a half marathon because I'm pretty much starting from scratch every spring as I don't run much in the winter. I was telling my co-worker that I wanted to run a marathon one day, but not until I could run a sub two hour half marathon - which right now for me is shaving 33 minutes off my time. That's a lot! However, every year since I started running in 2009 I've been able to shed a few more minutes off of that personal best (with this year shaving 10 minutes off my personal best). My mind started wandering and I thought about following a pace bunny. For those of you who don't know what that is, people train to run a half marathon in a specific time (some using the run/walk method) and run the race carrying a big sign with the estimated finish time. People fall them to pace themselves and finish around that time. My strategy has always been to run until I'm tired, power walk a bit and drink some water, and then keep going. It's worked for me so far, but I still have a lot of time to make up to hit my goal. I've never really done the run 10 minutes walk one minute plan either, but I'm thinking I might try it with the pace bunny next race. We'll see how it goes!

As good as I'm feeling, meal planning has gone out the window this past month. As I'm starting to feel more settled with everything, I'm going to go back and try it again hopefully after Easter this weekend.

xo
-Dianne

PS: Confession: I am addicted to Justin Beiber's new song, "Love Yourself". I don't know why but I could seriously listen to the song on repeat. Side note: I don't usually listen to Beebs so this is really odd for me!

PPS: After a bit of a stressful day this week, I got home and my hubby presented me with a gift. I think every woman needs one of these because we all have these days!

.Guilty

2. More. Weeks.

I'm finding that the closer I get to going back to work, the more my "mommy guilt" is starting to set in because I'm looking forward to it. I still very much feel mixed emotions as maternity leave has been a blast, but I'm finding myself really starting to get excited about going back to the office and seeing my co-workers again. As much as I love flying by the seat of my pants during maternity leave, we are still fairly structured as I have things planned almost every day this week! I'm having so much fun but I'm definitely feeling guilty about going back to work and leaving him at daycare. This is normal, right?

Even though I'm looking forward to going back, I will miss all of Kendrick's play dates! I never really visualized myself being a "mom's group" type of person, but I am so thankful for the group I found and the people I've met over the past year! For someone who never really had a lot of close female friends, I am so grateful for this network of new moms to be able to bounce ideas off of, vent to, and learn together as our little ones grow up. Although I have found some great friends that I've become close with, I've also found that I don't agree with some people's parenting styles. There are lots of memes and blogs about how we shouldn't be judge-y of other mom's choices as we are all doing what's best for our children and I think that's absolutely true! However...sometimes it's very difficult NOT to judge when someone talks about something that you feel is very wrong or unsafe.  However, I keep it to myself. I've learned to start to take things with a grain of salt and just go with the flow. I felt very judged a few weeks ago when I felt like a woman at Sobey's was judging me for buying Kendrick organic milk. I didn't like that feeling and because I'm not usually very confrontational I chose not to make a big deal of the situation, but I thought it was slightly rude and my reasons for choosing organic milk for my son is none of her business.

On another note, I finally took some time during nap time yesterday to plan my dinners for the rest of the week. Here's what I have planned:

Yesterday: Pasta with tomato sauce and turkey & apple meatballs - a WIN!

Today: Tacos with lean ground beef

Tomorrow: We're eating out so no dinner planned

Thursday: Coconut chicken salad

Friday: Slo-cooker mongolian beef over coconut rice

Saturday: Chicken fingers & fries

I've included links to the recipes that I plan to try. I'm also trying to incorporate some meals that I can share with Kendrick! He's starting to eat more finger foods and less purees, so I've been trying to brainstorm some meals that he can easily eat that can double as dinner for us. The turkey & apple meatballs turned out fantastic and Kendrick loved them! If you haven't already, check out my board on Pinterest specifically for recipes that I've tried and that have worked really well! I usually put in the comments if I've changed anything in the recipe - which is almost all the time because one of my quirks is not being able to follow a recipe. I always have to add something of my own! I also started a board for kids food recipes that Kendrick & I have tried and loved which will hopefully get bigger as the weeks go on!

I've been continuing to work out at Blitz Conditioning twice a week for the past month. I'm feeling pretty good! I'm hoping to continue when I go back to work, I'm just debating on whether I go super early or go right after work. "Mommy guilt" creeps in again here because if I go I won't see Kendrick either in the morning or much before he goes to bed, but I know that I'll schedule to make sure that I won't be missing him for an entire day. I'm going to also take the plunge and buy the monthly pass instead of the 10 pass punch card, which means I'll have to go at least nine times to make it worthwhile so that will help me keep motivated!

xo
-Dianne

PS: I also found a recipe for no bake banana bread bites that I'm attempting to alter a bit to become little pieces of heaven. They are also pretty healthy, and don't take long to prepare which is even better! As soon as I figure out the perfect blend, I'll post it!

PPS: I gave up pop for lent (four days late because I missed the start date). For some reason since I was pregnant with Kendrick I've been craving it and drinking it way more often, and it didn't stop when I had him! I felt like something sweet so I picked up some banana milk instead. I knew it had some sugar in it, but it turns out it actually has a very similar amount of sugar to pop (although some pop has slightly more). How depressing! Oh well. Time to go to Planet Organic and pick up some sugar-free sparkling juice! 

.Productive

Due to the unseasonably warm weather and the snow melting, the spring running bug has caught me a little earlier than normal this year. It's still too icy for my wimpy self to get out there quite yet, but every time I'm driving I think about getting back into it. I need to pick myself up a membership to a gym with an indoor track in the next week so I can start prepping for my first MEC race on March 6th! It's only 5K but it will be nice to get the legs in gear!

Kendrick starts daycare in three weeks and I head back to work! Like I mentioned last blog, I'm feeling very mixed about everything. One thing that I'm trying to figure out is balance. I'm quite enjoying working out twice a week at Blitz Conditioning as a "Morning Warrior," and it allows me to get my work out in before the little dude wakes up. However, when Kendrick starts daycare if I go work out in the morning it means that my hubby will be the one taking him to daycare and I'll miss seeing him in the morning. If I work out after work, there's a chance I may not make it home to see him before I go to bed. This bothers me! But at the same time, since I've started working out regularly I've been feeling really good and don't want to stop. I'm hoping this will get easier once I settle into working 9-5 again and Kendrick has spent some time at daycare. It's just hard for me to imagine going from seeing him pretty much 24/7 to only seeing him for an hour some days!

I'm also quite proud to say I've almost got nap time down to a science! For the first 10 months of Kendrick's life we didn't really have a scheduled nap time. We'd be out and about and he'd nap in the car or sometimes at home and life was good! Then at 10 months I decided to see if I could try and get him down to one nap a day so that he could start to prep for daycare. It took almost the whole month (as he did NOT like going down for naps in the crib), but for the last little while he's been going down like a champ and sleeping for two to three hours! This being said if he has a busy morning and falls asleep in the car at some point, I usually drive around for a bit to let him get at least an hour of steady nap, but for the most part I've just been planning my activities in the morning and late afternoon so we can be home around lunch time and he can go down for his nap. I know this type of thing might not work for everyone, but it's really worked for us! I wouldn't change the first 10 months for the world, as we were able to do a lot of things and I definitely made the most of my maternity leave! I'm very thankful we live in a country that gives us moms a year off after the baby comes!

There's a lot happening this month! In the next 31 days Kendrick turns 11 months, I turn 34, hubby and I celebrate our second wedding anniversary, we're going on a small mini family vacation before I go back to work, and then Kendrick turns 1. ONE! We decided to do a cake smash photo shoot with him in a few weeks and I am uber excited for it! We also decided we didn't want to rent a big space for Kendrick's birthday but had a lot of people special to him we wanted to invite! So he's having 3 three mini parties instead - one for family, one for friends, and one playdate with his baby friends before most of us go back to work. I bought some AMAZING decorations from a shop on Etsy so it just means that I get to use them three times! I know he won't remember his first birthday but we all will, so I'm hoping we can videotape some memories (like Ross & Rachel did on Friends) to show him on his 18th birthday.

xo,

-Dianne

PS: This week I'm going to start prepping for meal planning! I'm going to look at the week ahead, make a grocery list of what we need, and try to go shopping on Sunday. While I'm still home, I'm going to also try utilizing my slow cooker more often so it's less prep work later on in the day. I'm looking forward to this! Hubby and I are both making an effort to work out more so it will be great to compliment that with healthy eating.

PPS: So I'll share with you a little secret... I may be opening up an Etsy shop! I found a decoration I wanted to use for Kendrick's cake smash that was going to cost me $100+ to get it here, so I decided I may try making them myself. I'm going to keep the details sparse for now as I'm not 100% sure how this new adventure is going to go, but I'm excited nonetheless! The picture below is a hint. :)

.Planning

I miss running.

I really need a winter activity! Every year I say that, and every year I don't find one. I guess this year is a little different because my little man is keeping me pretty busy!

I've recently starting going to Blitz Conditioning for their early morning 6AM HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) work outs and they have been great! I've gone once a week three weeks in a row now and this week I stepped it up a notch and went twice. I'm scheduled to go twice next week too! I'm thankful to have my cousin Adriana who's been coming with me in the mornings and motivating me to show up (because my goodness is it hard to get up at 4:50AM!)

It occurred to me the other day that my first run of the year is on March 6. That's like... six weeks away. AH! Since I'm a whimp and don't run in the snow, I'm going to have to find an indoor running track in the next week or two. Thankfully this one is a 5K so I'm going to slowly start back into training again in early February.

I've recently started taking Kendrick to gymnastics drop in at North Edmonton Gymnastics Club and he is loving it! He likes to hang on the bars, jump with Mommy into the foam pit, bounce on the trampoline, and pretty much climb anything he can. I've actually had to barricade my fireplace off because he's a climbing machine! He figured out stairs last month too. I can't wait to enroll him in classes when he's 18 months old!

My maternity leave is over in five weeks. I am feeling very conflicted! On one hand I am excited to go back to work and catch up on what I've missed this past year. I've brought Kendrick to visit my co-workers quite a few times this year, but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again on a regular basis. I'm also excited to wear all the new work clothes I bought on Boxing Day! :) On the other hand, I am going to miss seeing Kendrick all day, every day! Maternity leave has been an absolute blast! I've made new mommy friends (which is pretty awesome considering I'm one of those girls that doesn't have a ton of close female friends) and Kendrick and I have gone on quite a few adventures! Most weeks we are out and about doing something fun at least 4-5 times and I'm loving every minute of it! Even though I know it means life is going to change drastically, I'm silently hoping that he takes his first steps before I go back so I don't feel like I missed out on that milestone. He's pretty close right now as he cruises along the furniture, so you never know!

After putting Kendrick to bed at 7:15PM tonight, I did some cleaning and straightening out of my house. Usually I put away all the toys (as usually my living room looks like a toy tornado hit it during the day) and get some cleaning done before I relax and de-stress before heading to bed. I realized today though when I go back to work, that doesn't leave me a lot of time with the little guy between the time I get home from work and the time he goes to bed! So I've decided to really start looking into meal planning. It may be time to start a new Pinterest board! I want to plan my meals for the week in advance, get the groceries each weekend, and then get them ready in freezer bags so that when I get home from work, it's as easy as putting everything in a pot or taking it out of the slow cooker! This will allow more family time and some healthier meals too! Although it doesn't seem like a tough task, it does seem a little daunting to be that organized every week. Does anyone out there meal plan and have any tips?

xo

-Dianne

PS: Stella & Dot is giving us Stylists a chance to earn a trip to Costa Rica! Considering we don't have a big vacation planned this year, I'd really LOVE to go! You can help me get there by shopping my website, hosting a trunk show, or joining my team and becoming a Stylist! Feel free to comment below or tweet me if any of these interest you! :)

PPS: I'm starting to make a dent on some of my 2016 goals! My new hobby is HIIT training, and I'm quite enjoying it! I haven't really made a dent on my debt yet, but will start that as soon as I start making a regular pay cheque again back at work! We did do a date night this January while Kendrick had a sleepover, and have one planned for February already which is exciting! I'm also 24 days in to #365DaysOfGratitude, and it's also going well! I'm not sure if I'll get to blog three times this month, but I shall certainly strive for February! Overall, I think it's a good start!

.Booked

After being back the running train for a week now, I'm feeling pretty good. I ran 15.2KM in 1:53 with the help of my bestie & pace car Krissie who runs a lot faster than me and it felt pretty good! Although I do like running on my own, for my long runs it's nice to have company and someone to lead the way to keep my pace up! I think that's why I always run faster during races because it's almost like I'm chasing people!

During my runs I almost find that I've been tuning out my music because I've been listening to the same songs over and over again. I have so many pictures on my phone (mostly of my adorable son) that I don't have space for a lot of music, and haven't made myself a new playlist since I started running again back in June. I'm considering trying out Spotify Premium to try out some new playlists. Right now they have a special where you get three months for 99 cents. This way I'd be able to download playlists to listen to and with the new upgrade it actually hooks up to the Nike Running app as well. An added bonus is that I'll have access to a ton of music for our trip to Australia - which by the way we officially BOOKED this week! I am so excited to see my sister and brother in law and visit a place I've never been, and excited for Kendrick to meet his auntie and uncle! Our first stop is Vancouver where I'll be running the Vancouver Rock N Roll Half Marathon (and hoping to get a personal best wearing my Oilers hat) and that night we'll be taking a direct flight to Sydney! 15 hours on a plane with an eight month old may prove to be a challenge but hopefully he'll be good like he was on the flights to and from Vegas! After three days in Sydney we'll hop on a plane to Adelaide where we'll spend the majority of the next three weeks visiting. So EXCITED! And so much planning yet to do...

During my 8KM run today I had a lot of things going through my mind. I find that I do a lot of reflection and thinking when I run. This is part of the reason why I quite enjoy running outside. It's very much multi-tasking as my brain is going a million miles a minute listening to music, watching where I'm going, planning my route, and brainstorming random things. Today for example as I was running through the river valley, I wondered how I would look if I dyed the tips of my hair blue and turquoise. I'm not usually one to go with fads, but I thought it would be something interesting and while I'm on mat leave is the perfect time to experiment with this kind of thing. Then I thought about how funny it would be to take a picture of Kendrick, Brian and I so you could see the back of our heads; Brian's hair is longer than normal, mine would have funky coloured tips, and Kendrick has a bald spot in the back of his head. Ha! I don't know why this came to mind but these are the random kinds of things I think about during long runs.

I'd like to start doing stairs with November Project on Wednesdays and hills on Fridays! Once I get my sleep figured out I'm going to try and make it out once a week. I'm so terrible at hills that I think this will definitely help my endurance.

Kendrick hit a couple of milestones this week. On Monday he rolled from his back to his front, so now he can roll both ways! Now that he's figured out how to do that he doesn't stay on his back for long. Friday night we put him in the crib for the first time for the night. He's been sleeping in a bassinet in our room and has been sleeping really well so we finally decided to make the move. He's been doing good, however now he moves like crazy during the night and we usually find him facing the opposite direction on his stomach in the morning! He also attended his very first Edmonton Eskimos game on Saturday night. Our little dude is growing up.

xo

-Dianne

PS: I'm also happy to report I'm 20lbs away from my goal weight, 4.5 months postpartum. I still only have a couple pairs of pants that fit besides my running gear, but I'm starting to slowly feel much more comfortable in my own skin. YAY.

PPS: After speaking to the nurse at the health clinic today I was also told to make an appointment with my doctor ASAP in regards to my sleep issues, so I'm heading in on Friday. I'm hoping for some clarity and hopefully some natural remedies to help me sleep and take advantage of the fact that Kendrick sleeps so well at night! I'm tired of being tired all day and not being able to fall asleep at night. I can't wait to get my Fitbit to really track my sleeping patterns and see how much I'm actually sleeping at night. I hope the orange & blue ones come out soon!

.Purge

June flew by! I don't know where the time is going. Kendrick is almost 4 months old. It feels like he's growing up so fast! He's holding his head up really well, he can roll from front to back and he can almost sit up by himself! And he's found his voice, he's constantly babbling!

Oilers Draft Party 2015

I've really started to amp up my running. I ran my first race since having Kendrick on July 1 - the Canada Day Road Race.  This is actually kind of cool because I ran the exact same race last year before I knew I was pregnant!

All things considered, I am pretty impressed that there's only a 10 minute difference between my times. It may even be a little less as either Nike was off or the course was a little off since the first year I tracked 15.2KM and this year it was 15.4KM. In any case, I was satisfied but very sore. I've noticed that since I've been pregnant if I sit for long periods of time my body just hurts. My ankles and legs get sore and my back has been bugging me (I've been going to physio and it's been helping!) - I feel like I'm 80 years old! Hopefully that's just because I'm not quite back in shape and nothing else, but I'll be asking the doc about it just in case. I've had to wear my compression sleeves in the last little while because it seems like my shin splints are acting up, and they are helping immensely! I'm looking forward to completing my first half since the baby in August!

I'm starting to feel a bit better about my body. I started to do a clothing purge yesterday and was able to clear out one giant garbage bag of clothes that will be sent for donation. It's a little hard giving stuff away not knowing exactly what size I'll end up, so I did keep most of my pants so I can see how things go. That being said, I am giving a lot away. I went through all these pieces of clothing that I wasn't even wearing before I got pregnant and not only does my closet look a lot better but I feel a lot better! I can't wait to save my pennies and have a big shopping spree just before I go back to work in March.

Looking forward to enjoying this rest day with family and continuing my running program next week.  Now to decide what to do today! :)

xo

-Dianne

PS: Who knew cravings continued after pregnancy? I guess because I'm still exclusively pumping my hormones are still all over the place. My latest craving is rootbeer. It's not healthy, and it's empty calories I know, but I can't help it. It just means I have to run and do bootcamp more so I can work it off!

PPS: Mommy & baby yoga starts up again next week and I couldn't be more excited. Such an awesome class and Kendrick seems to love the music and the baby massages. We also went swimming for the second time last week and he seems to like the water! As soon as he's old enough I'm going to put him into baby swimming lessons. I also may take a couple strollersize classes. The biggest thing that's happening this month though is that Kendrick will be going on his first airplane ride! We are headed to Vegas in 10 days for Stella & Dot Hoopla - the national sales conference. I'm both nervous and excited as this will be the first big vacation with baby and I'm going on my own. If anyone has any tips on flying with little ones I'd be all ears! My first task is to make a list so I don't forget things to pack, so I'm working on that this week!

.Lists

Is it weird that I function better when I make myself lists? I'm one of those people who tends to get overwhelmed when I have a lot on my plate, and I find it hard to figure out what my priorities are. My favorite way to get organized is to make myself a to-do list.

We are currently eight days away from Baby Peanut's expected arrival. Of course we are aware that it could also be 14 days...or three days. The waiting game is tough! We recently did some shopping at Ikea to pick up a couple of shelving/storage units to help us get some organization done in the house and hubby spent a good chunk of Sunday building everything (I was really no help). Currently - our house looks a little bit like we just moved in: there seems to be stuff EVERYWHERE. At the same time, I think it actually looks more overwhelming than it actually is. To prevent myself from feeling anxiety & stress, I've made myself a little to-do list of some things that I'd like to get done this week and prioritized them. This way, if I don't get to every single one before the baby is born, I'll at least be able to get the more important ones done and not have to worry about hubby having to take on the cleaning burden when we want to spend quality time with our newborn.

We are also very lucky that our friend Sarah with Pernickety Cleaning Services has offered to clean our house this week! It will be such a relief to have the house looking great when people come over for a visit. If you are looking for a cleaning service or pet-sitting service - definitely check her out!

I wouldn't consider myself a hoarder, but I notice I tend to keep a lot of stuff. I think I get that from my Dad. I'm one of those people who is fairly organized but doesn't look it! Even though there may be stuff everywhere, I usually know exactly where everything is. Sometimes it's just a matter of figuring out where to file it, put it, or deciding if I should just throw it out. I find our problem is sometimes we come home and leave something somewhere, whether it be a bag or some papers, and then it just gets forgotten about and left there and that's where it all starts.

I've found that my nesting instincts are starting to kick in as once I get into a groove I just keep going.   The past few days I've been relaxing when I get up, doing some work in the afternoon and then resting in the evening. Standing for long periods of time is starting to prove to be a little difficult :).

Today, I've been relaxing all morning so I think it's time to get moving for the day. There's a bit of adrenaline knowing that the baby could really come any time and there's still stuff we want to get done before he makes his arrival!

xo
-Dianne

PS: Last night I tried out two recipes from pinterest! Chili Mac & Cheese and Caramel Banana Loaf. The chili mac & cheese turned out more for me like extra cheesy chili, but I was ok with that. It was delicious! I added some extra pasta and some gnocchi so it thickened up quite nicely! It also made a ton so I was able to add one more meal to our freezer meals stash. The caramel banana loaf was only ok. I used whole wheat flower instead of regular and coconut crystals instead of sugar and it wasn't too bad but I've definitely had better. It only asked for a tablespoon of caramel and I think that was the problem. It was very moist though so I may give the recipe another try another time and see if I can alter it slightly!